Middle Seat Danger

Now, I'll be the first to say, I hate the middle seat. I just do. Especially if I have two larger people on either side of me. I really just feel trapped. Can't lean left. Can't lean right. Can't reach for anything without bumping into one or two people. Can't take a whiz without bothering the person in the aisle seat to get up. Can't really even move or shift much at all.

With that in mind, I was on a commute flight home earlier today. I was happy to make the flight, don't get me wrong. Just barely ran over to the gate in time. I'm pretty sure I was the last one on. So, there I sat. Slightly sweaty and stuck shoulder to shoulder between two older ladies. Why is that part important? Because old ladies are always cold. So, they wear big jackets and sweaters. These two were no exception. Now, I'm not blaming them for being cold. That's just the way old ladies are. But it was at odds with me. I was stuck between two well insulated people, in uniform, with tie, and my air vent was less than effective. Let's just say it was like having a mouse fart on you through a straw. Needless to say, this wasn't going to be a comfortable flight for me.

There wasn't anything I could do about it. And, since I realistically shouldn't have made that flight, it was nice to be heading home a couple hours earlier. So, I was willing to put up with a crappy seat for a little while. Lo and behold, we had a bit of tailwind and even got in about 10 mins early. Not too bad!

However, I thought that once I was off that plane, the curse of the middle seat was behind me. Well, it was, in a matter of speaking. You see, I got home, had dinner, and went right to bed. I was pretty tired. I was nearly asleep when I caught a whiff of something nasty. I hadn't been farting, so it was a bit curious of a smell. A damp funky stank. Something musty, but with a little more kick than usual. I tried to roll around and ignore it. I think the motion of the covers just made it worse. I kept trying to just not pay it any attention, but the smell wouldn't have it. It persisted. It taunted. It was indeed, a brutal case of Middle Seat Crotch.

You see, when I was running to make that flight, I was pretty warm. The plane was warm when I got on, and the air vent wasn't helping either. I was in uniform, which isn't the most comfortable, and I was stuck in a seat between two others where I couldn't really move. My crotch was in lockdown. All it could do was be warm and start to fester. I didn't even know it was happening since I was just happy to be on the flight. However, the level of stank that was achieved actually prevented me from getting sleep. I finally caved in, got out of bed, and took a shower. There was no other way.

Beware the dangers of Middle Seat Crotch. And don't think it can't happen to you!

It's the little things

A nice tasty Reese's peanut butter cup awaited me in the flightdeck as I climbed in this morning. It was as if someone was thinking of me. I don't know how you are, but I certainly appreciated it. Someone, in this job, was doing something nice for someone else. A tried and true rarity in this industry. All I can say is, "Thank you!" Then again, you may also be pissed because you were just in a hurry to get to your overnight and left your Reese's there by accident. Either way, I'm still grateful.

Shortly after landing at our first destination, I noticed a flight of four F-16s passing by, low level. The formation was obvious. Especially when one of them pulled hard up away from the rest. The unmistakable, Missing Man Formation. To me, as I sat there in the flight deck looking through the windscreen while passengers were getting on, that formation meant only one thing. A military burial. Seeing things like that make to take a step back and just re-evaluate your day.

Ironically, not long at all after that flyby, an MD-88 pulled up and parked next to us. Two soldiers, in full dress, were off the plane first, escorted down the ramp. Again, there's only one thing that would mean. A deceased US soldier was aboard. I watched silently as the casket was brought out of the aft cargo compartment, and loaded into the waiting hearse. Again, seeing things like that really make you take a step back.

Now, while I don't believe the flyby was for the same individual whom I witnessed taking their last flight, (could have been) both events still really got my attention. As much as I complain about my job, workload, lack of sleep, lack of pay, lack of any respect from the company, etc, I am still alive and healthy as my job search continues in an effort to put the regionals in my rear view mirror. I have one good prospect right now. I'm just waiting to hear back. All I can do now, is just sit here, remember and appreciate the sacrifices of others, and enjoy my Reese's.

Howdy

Hey Folks. Yup, I'm still here. Haven't given up yet. Looks like there is finally some movement in this industry. I'm still working contacts/angles in other jobs, but nothing has really changed yet. It looks like the majors are finally starting to hire a bit. Looks like the 5 year stagnation of the "age 65 rule" is finally coming to an end, not to mention it looks the economy is finally on it's way as well. I might just get that change I'm so desperate for before too long after all...

I've had a fair bit of fun keeping track off passenger comments on my twitter site. My dear apologies for anyone that might have been aboard my flight with that landing in Boise, ID. Couldn't tell you what went wrong on that one. BOOM! I'm pretty sure they needed to close the runway for repairs after my landing. Ironically, my very next landing, under far more challenging conditions was a complete greaser... oh well. Can't win em all.

anyways, if there are any of you still around out there hoping for more posts here, hang tight. More on the way. Still in that "I need a break mode..."

Twaat did you say?

I'll admit, twitter has never really interested me all that much. I don't really care to hear about every completely and totally trivial event in everyone's lives. "Hey, I just took a shit and it looked like Long Island!" "Going to get my genital warts removed." "Picked my nose and my boog was orange!" However, I've developed a lack of care in posting here with various stories from the line. Mostly, because my job has tended to be filled only with crappy ass things. The search is still on for another place of employment. I'm currently working a few avenues, but nothing is set yet. Time shall tell.

Anyways, one of the more annoying and sometimes humorous sides of my current job is to hear what passengers have to say. Sometimes they say really nice things and show a level of understanding and appreciation. Other times, even the flight is smooth, landing is great, and we're at the gate early, people just piss and moan to the hilt.

So, I signed up for a twitter site. No, I won't be keeping anyone informed of my trips to the lav or the socially awkward dried toothpaste smear on my pants. Nope, this is just going to be a collection of things I hear from passengers, be it on one of my flights, a commute flight, sitting around the terminal, or whatever. Just a little live feed of the things I hear at work.

Facing the music

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. `I'm starting to face the reality that this "flying for a living" dream just isn't working out. It's a painful pill to swallow for sure, but one that seems looming. Worst part is, the decision isn't being made for me like it is for others that might be deemed less fortunate. Three and four time furloughees don't have much choice in the matter. Most of them accept the fact and then move on to something else.

This decision is left to me. I do have a job, but it's not one I'd like to keep for an extended period. This isn't a decision I'm making because I'm not any good at my job. I'm one of the best. I don't walk around bragging about it, but I work VERY damn hard at what I do. I take flying very seriously. I have taken great pride in my ability to be a great pilot. However, in the airline industry, no matter how good or bad you are, it has nearly zero affect on how your career progresses. EVERYTHING rides on your seniority number. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

It's become quite obvious that my company doesn't give two shits about me. I might have $100,000 worth of training to be able to do this job, and I'm being told that in this new world of CRM that I have much more authority and responsibility, but I'm still paid less than the guy on the fry machine at McDonalds. They might say they want FOs who stand up for themselves and for what's right, what's SOP, and what's safe for the aircraft and it's passengers. However, when the penny drops, my company has not done A SINGLE THING to actually show in any way, that they themselves buy that load of shit. Then, there are those Captains that I get to fly with sometimes. The ones who who are nothing but 20+ year cry babies telling me how tough it used to be for them and, "We've all paid our dues..." Ask most of those assclowns how long THEY spent in the right seat. Many of them hired in as "Street Captains," meaning they never sat in the right seat. Others spent no more than a few months in the right seat. Yeah, cry me a fucking river on just how many dues you've paid. All you do is bitch while I do all the real work and you're always right. Not to mention you're paid 5 times more than I. I work harder, study harder, I know more about the plane than you and I fly it better than you. Those are the facts.

For me, I've been caught in the middle too long. The middle of the seniority list. And, I've not moved in years. Stuck in the right seat, still not even making $30k/year, and routinely flying with some major league jackoffs. They miss calls, they forget about speed and/or crossing restrictions, they load the FMS wrong, they can't taxi the damn plane without getting lost, etc, etc. Don't get me wrong, I make plenty of mistakes, too. I said I was a great, not perfect. When I screw up, I'm happy when the other guy catches it. That's why I thought there were two of us up there. I'm sick of the Captain who is all high and mighty, treating me like a second rate human being who makes at least 17 mistakes to any 1 of mine. And, when there has been an issue between myself and a Captain, airline management just tells me I'm a pissant FO and the Captain is always right. I'm caught between the training department telling me how much responsibility I have, that it's my job to step up and be part of the flight deck team, and airline management never once backing me in any way no matter how incredulous a Captain's actions were.

So, I've set a date. If, by this date, I'm not in another flying job or at least the left seat of some 121 aircraft, then I'm calling it quits. Consider the towel thrown in. Of course, there is the small question of, "Would I go back to flying on my own, as a GA pilot?" For now, the answer is no. I'm just ready to walk away from it all at this point. While it is true that I was miserable in my previous career which had me at a desk all day, looking at myself now, I'd hardly refer to this as, "loving life." At least I'd be able to get my head back above water in a financial sense.

So, to the handful of readers I have out there, thanks for reading. I don't expect to make any future posts here. I've said what I needed to say, and I'll just leave it at that.

Biting my lip

Yesterday, I was walking along in the terminal heading to the gate for my first leg of the day. It was morning. Early morning. There were plenty of people around, but it was mostly quiet as everyone was looking "not quite awake" as they wandered from security to the coffee shop and then off to their gates. All was very pleasant. Then, behind me, the unmistakable sound of some all too important, self-absorbed loud ass blabbing away on a cell phone. Some people just have the type of voice that shouldn't be allowed in public. At least at certain hours of the morning. You could actually feel all the other passengers hate this woman as we all walked along with minimal noise, then there was her, flapping her gums as full volume.

Then, out of her pie hole comes, "Argh... my feet are just KILLING me!!!!" At that, I glanced over my shoulder at this person who has been ruining the morning's peace. She was at least 250 lbs, and no more than 5 foot tall. I managed to bite my lip, but there was a serious desire to say to her, "I know why!!!"

Commuting

I've had tough commutes in the past. I still commute, however, it's gotten a lot better and shorter. All in all, I can't really complain all that much. Especially when I see something like this. While this is a short commute, when talking about time and distance, it's very very different. This is one hell of a commute.

I'm all for adventure and being "out there." However, I'm not certain if I could actually do a job like this. Seriously. Perhaps it would take me a long time to build up confidence, but shit. To think about me actually doing this today makes my nuts quiver. This is a POV video, which porn fans will immediately identify as "Point of View." It covers climbing the last 200ft of a 1768ft transmission tower. (Best when viewed in full-screen mode.)

Disclaimer: More than a few people have reported not being able to watch the whole video due to feeling queezy.



(Video link repaired)