Middle seat discount

I had a commute flight aboard an Airbus A319 recently. When I got my boarding pass, I saw my seat. 19E. The 19 didn't bother me. It was the E that made me feel as if I ate some bad fish. I'd be occupying the dreaded middle seat and the flight was quite full. What's more... this flight was going to be over 2 hours in duration. *sigh*

I was one of the last ones to get on, yet somehow I was able to nickel and dime enough space here and there to get my rollaboard and flight case stowed in separate locations throughout the cabin. Not ideal, but it works. I actually think it's an acquired skill. There should be a small course offered by airlines to help passengers learn, at a minimum, the basics of this skill. Even an online course would suffice. Have you ever seen a person by themselves, sitting in their seat with nothing at their feet or in their laps, yet over their heads is a HUGE DOWN JACKET taking up 2 or 3 rows worth of overhead space? These are the people that should be required to take this course prior to being allowed to purchase a ticket. If they won't take the course, they can't purchase a ticket.

When I got back to my row, I noticed that the man in the window seat was already there, but the isle seat, 19D was still open. Now, I'm not a religious or spiritual man, however, as I settled into my middle seat and fished out my seatbelt, I was hoping and praying that the person slated for 19D would be a no-show.

The wait was torture. The minutes became hours. The seat remained open. A few sparse passengers were still trickling into the cabin. They all kept taking seats before getting back to row 19. I dearly wanted to hear, "Ladies and gentleman, the forward boarding door has been closed..." I wanted to hear this more than I wanted to take my next breath. I just kept pretending to hear the closing and latching sounds of the boarding door, over and over. I didn't realize it, but my eyes were closed I was concentrating so hard.

*FLUMP!* My eyes snap open to the sound of a carry-on bag being plopped down in the seat next to me. I look to my left... He made it. Oh joy...

There was no overhead space left, so the flight attendants had to gate check his bag. As he settled in, he tried to make pleasant small talk about how he barely made the flight... I did my best to remain professional and cordial as visions of him being hit by an electric cart as he ran through the terminal filled my head.

I had actually forgotten just how shitty it can be to spend a multi-hour flight in the middle seat, between to other fully grown men. "Uncomfortable" doesn't really sum it up. Sure it's not comfortable, but there isn't even enough room to do anything to take your mind off the discomfort. I tried to work on a crossword, but it wasn't long before I maxed out on my knowledge, getting about 10 of the clues. Defeated, I stuck the crossword in the seat back pocket.

As we took to the air with 4 man-knees touching, I tried to drift off to sleep. I got a few head bobs. I tried to turn my head one way or another. Just didn't work well. Somehow, I managed to actually get a few bits of sleep and I survived the flight. My back was actually a little sore when I got off the plane. My neck was stiff, too. This is when I had an idea.

No airline is going to change the standard cabin seating layout. Just won't happen. When profit is your number one concern, you aren't going to put less seats in an aircraft. You're not going to spend money paying maintenance personnel to take the seats out either. I propose instead, on the premise of customer service, if you fly in a middle seat, with a person on either side of you, 50% of your ticket price should be refunded. There is just no reason that your experience should cost full price. However, if you knew you were getting 1/2 of your ticket price back, you'd feel like you were getting something back for your discomfort.

I think it's worth a shot.