Bags

There are checked bags, carry on bags... and then there's ass bags. Anyone that has flown into and out of EWR/LGA/JFK knows that ATC flow control delays are a part of the norm. On this day there was a line of weather to the west of Newark and it was hosing up all the arrival and departure routing. Juuust as the passengers started boarding the plane in Detroit, we got word that we had been given a 2 hour delay. We were stuck at the gate. Considering the length of the delay, we let everyone stay in the terminal so that they had access to space, real bathrooms, restaurants, etc.

We decided to start boarding the flight 40 mins before our slot time. That should be enough time to get boarded plus another 10 mins to taxi out to the runway and be ready for our departure slot time. The gate agent must have had other ideas, however. It became obvious that she was only wanting to get the door closed by our slot time. It was a downright struggle to just get people boarded in 30 mins. Unreal. Then, since the flight was so late, the tug and tug driver were somewhere else. So, we had to call our operations people and try to get a tug to come back and push us off the gate. ATC usually gives you +/-5 mins leeway on your slot time. We arrived at the end of the runway right at the +5 mins. If we'd been one more minute late, we'd likely be sitting off to the side, or even perhaps returning to the gate to await another slot time. Needless to say, we were pretty pissed with the gate agent and ground crew.

We blasted off, and headed to EWR. We had some storms to go around, we had some speed reductions and delay vectors to hold us back further while enroute. Again, not really out of the norm considering the weather. We even had to be in contact with dispatch to verify the new routing with them to ensure we had adequate fuel to accept the routing and still have enough left for our alternate airport as well.

As we got closer to the line of weather, it was evident that we'd have to find a path through the storm cells. We had a few options, but one seemed the best course, so we stuck with that. We punched through a decent gap and only got bumped around for a short time. Wasn't too bad at all. After that, we got vectored around some of the smaller storms as we descended down below 10,000ft and got into the terminal area. Things around the NYC area can already be tense due to the traffic volume, so having weather in the area just adds to it. Needless to say, it was exceedingly busy for the last 30 mins of the flight.

We managed our way through it all and even stayed fast on final approach (per ATC request) to help them out with spacing for aircraft in trail of us. Then, we slowed on short final, and I even managed to squeak out a sweet greaser of a landing with the gusty crosswinds (pure luck, I'm guessing). I was feeling pretty good about it all. It was a lot of work and a lot of items to juggle. But, we worked together as a crew and made it work.

Ground control in EWR was busy as usual and they gave us a pretty complicated taxi route. Of course, there were about 40 other planes taxing around us, coming and going. So, even though we were on the ground, it wasn't time to sit back and let our guard down. We followed everything to the T and got to the gate.

Once we got parked, another wet towel was thrown into the goings-on. The jet bridge didn't work. The ramp personnel fought with it for at least 5 mins while the passengers were waiting to get off the plane, a full 2 hours later than originally planned.

Now, I know things happen, but I will say this. I was in EWR only a few days prior. And that very same damn jet bridge didn't work then either! I don't buy the fact that this very jet bridge ONLY goes on the fritz when I'm in town. I don't buy it for one minute. Those personnel KNEW that jet bridge didn't work. Yet, they still spent 5 mins dicking with it. Then, they took another 10 mins to get their act together so that we could unload the passengers via the airstairs and then have them walk up the metal stairs up into the jet bridge. And, we had two passengers that required wheelchairs. No, they weren't ready for that either. That was another 10 min wait after everyone else had gotten off the plane. They totally and completely dropped the ball. Why is it that only the flight crews seem to be the ones held to the "high customer service standard?"

Most people, as usual, were at least understanding of the weather and traffic delays. I think the jet bridge issue was the final straw and really ticked some people off, myself included. I knew it had been a problem there for several days.

However, what REALLY did it for me, was some suit wearing cock monkey who got off the plane, looked at the crew and said, "Piss poor job today, boys!" It took every ounce of my being not to grab this fat, ignorant and arrogant ass clown by the throat and rip him 17 brand new assholes, R. Lee Ermey style. All that was going through my head was "Ex-fucking-scuse me??? I just busted by ass, lost 2 hrs out of MY sleep for tonight, and battled my own company every step of the way to get you here as fast as I could and as safely as possible. I did not a single thing wrong. Not one. I made this flight happen. I got you here to your destination safely. Don't you dare pull that shitty little bitch ass adolescent attitude with me about how I did a piss poor job. You don't like flying this airline? Go find another! Go! Get the fuck off my aircraft. I don't want your damn business if you're such a colon roaster. It's people like you that do nothing but piss and fucking moan about every damn thing in the world. You're just a miserable human being and I don't care for all my other passengers to have to deal with a dick face like you in the cabin. Everyone else here will be happier without you around. Get lost."

Was I bitter? Yeah... a bit. The lesson? The flight crew is the most visible part of the airline operation. However, they are certainly not always the ones to blame when things don't go well. In fact, they are usually the ones doing everything they can do make things happen while pushing against every other department in the company.