Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
An Important Resource
http://www.legalbeer.com/liquor-laws-by-state
As with any job, sometimes we all need a drink. Airline work is certainly no exception in my opinion. However, laws on where and when you can buy alcohol is all state controlled, and therefore varies just about every place you go. So, here is a fantastic resource for those needing a drink, in an unfamiliar part of the country.
As with any job, sometimes we all need a drink. Airline work is certainly no exception in my opinion. However, laws on where and when you can buy alcohol is all state controlled, and therefore varies just about every place you go. So, here is a fantastic resource for those needing a drink, in an unfamiliar part of the country.
Monday, October 24, 2011
What a douche
Anyone that has read my blog in the past would know that I go over and above trying to take care of my passengers and crew. I fight tooth and nail with ATC, ground crews, weather, and even with my own company. I have done my very best to keep my composure even in the face of udder redonkulousness. Today, I about lost it.
We only had one quick leg to do this morning due to a huge cluster of scheduling changes do to broken airplanes yesterday. It was pretty early coming out of the NYC area, so things moved quickly. It was nice. I don't think we ever came to stop along the taxi route. Even had a nice smooth flight at cruising altitude. We ended up getting into SYR about 30 mins early. I even managed to pull off a pretty smooth landing. All as well. Or, so I thought.
I was still up front with the FO, getting things shut down and packed up when everyone was getting off. I could hear most people getting off the plane saying, "Thanks," and "Have a good day." Then I heard one douche face complaining. I tuned my ear in a bit more... He was complaining about being so early. Honestly??? Really??? I just picked my head up and looked at the FO, who heard this guy as well, and I said, "You have GOT to be kidding me..." To be honest, I'm really pretty glad that he didn't complain to me about it. I have a feeling I would have jumped down his throat.
Here we go... Really, sir? You were boarded up quickly, kept comfortable, kept safe, got to your destination early, and you're STILL bitching???? What in the hell must it be like going through life as such a miserable human fucking being that even when something is good, you still need to piss and fucking moan about it. Holy fucking shit balls. I really really wish, you sir, would get hit by a fucking truck.
*deep breaths*
We only had one quick leg to do this morning due to a huge cluster of scheduling changes do to broken airplanes yesterday. It was pretty early coming out of the NYC area, so things moved quickly. It was nice. I don't think we ever came to stop along the taxi route. Even had a nice smooth flight at cruising altitude. We ended up getting into SYR about 30 mins early. I even managed to pull off a pretty smooth landing. All as well. Or, so I thought.
I was still up front with the FO, getting things shut down and packed up when everyone was getting off. I could hear most people getting off the plane saying, "Thanks," and "Have a good day." Then I heard one douche face complaining. I tuned my ear in a bit more... He was complaining about being so early. Honestly??? Really??? I just picked my head up and looked at the FO, who heard this guy as well, and I said, "You have GOT to be kidding me..." To be honest, I'm really pretty glad that he didn't complain to me about it. I have a feeling I would have jumped down his throat.
Here we go... Really, sir? You were boarded up quickly, kept comfortable, kept safe, got to your destination early, and you're STILL bitching???? What in the hell must it be like going through life as such a miserable human fucking being that even when something is good, you still need to piss and fucking moan about it. Holy fucking shit balls. I really really wish, you sir, would get hit by a fucking truck.
*deep breaths*
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Professionalism
What is Professionalism? Well, it certainly is one of those facets of a pilot that everyone talks about, everyone says is very important, yet it hard to quantify. I don't think there is one simple answer. There are lots of different things that go into being a professional. Just as when we see someone behaving in any way we don't like, we call them, "Unprofessional."
I once heard that, "Character is doing the right thing, even when no one is looking." I think this a big part of professionalism. The NTSB's Deb Hersmann once said, "You never know on which flight, your career will be judged." I feel Mrs. Hersmann is definitely hitting the nail on the head.
But, there are many others who have some other ideas on what professionalism is. If you ask the public, you might get answers like, "Sharp looking, clean shaven, hat wearing, grey hair, deep voice, and smooth landing." If you ask the company, you'd get something like, "Doesn't complain, gets the flight out on time." If you ask others they might describe someone very good at their job, perhaps to the point of being cold and emotionless.
For me, there are many facets of a professional pilot. However, more than the list of traits itself, is an order of importance. Further more, this order of importance changes with each unique situation. While "outward appearance" is something that is important, I think people put far too much value in. After all, consider a shady businessman. Just because he looks good and fit, is charming, and wears a nice suit, doesn't mean he knows anything besides how to screw you over and take all of your money. I believe the same holds true for pilots. I have met and flown with pilots that really looked sharp, fit, dashing, and experienced, were still complete douches on more than a few occasions. Just because you look the part, doesn't mean you actually can play the part.
So, which is more important? Do you really want someone that only looks professional? Or would you rather have someone that doesn't look as sharp, but will do a far superior job in handling strange and challenging situations, working well with a variety of other personalities, keeping passengers informed and calm, and perhaps even be a better pilot. I know the best answer is both. However, that would only leave me and about 50 other pilots in the whole world! ;-)
There are more than a few pilots out there who don't wear the gay hat, don't have a head full of grey hair, but who are very good at the job of being an airline pilot. Do they look like they've been doing this job for 50 years? No. Do they question authority? Maybe. Do they act like they are God? No. Do they jump down the throat of a fellow crew member who questions anything? Not in the least. Do, they know their shit? Definitely. Are they team players? Absolutely. Do they scream and cry like little girls when a time critical situation presents itself? Not in the least. Honestly, the actual "flying" portion of this job is far and away, the easiest part. Sure you want someone that can fly the plane. But there is so much more to it in order to be a true and safe professional.
A professional crew is one that does their job and maintains control amidst all the crap that comes with this job. There are people who can filter out the garbage and deal with the situation amidst chaos around them. Not everyone is up for this job. Even those that are, usually require a lot of training to become seasoned in this behavior. It's not easy, but this is the kind of person you want in the front of your plane when the shit hits the fan. You don't want a pansy up there who goes to water when anything is out of the norm. You also don't want a cowboy who just starts flipping switches and guessing his/her way out of problem. You want people who are adaptable, knowledgeable, and calm under pressure. You want team players and you want crew that legitimately want to take care of their crew and passengers.
Yes, lets not forget about those folks behind you: the passengers, AND the flight attendants. Pilots are taught to "Aviate, Navigate, and Communicate" in that order. Yes, you have to fly the damn plane before anything else. Mostly because no matter what you do for navigating and communicating is pointless if you crash. But this really is an extreme. FAR more often are pilots faces with much more mundane challenges. Whether it be something broken on the plane, storms, rough air, delays, etc, its very important to keep others informed. You are part of a crew after all, and you can make your own life considerably easier if you just take a few mins to inform your FAs and the passengers. I really wish there was more on this in terms of selecting pilots to be hired. I really really do.
Egos really have no place in the modern flight deck. There is far too much to be keeping an eye on. There are two pilots up there for a reason. When you have a person who has the attitude of, "I'm the captain and I'm never wrong" well, I'll be the first to say that this person is a dick. And, more often than not, this person with the overblown ego is usually not that good of a pilot themselves. So they lash out at others trying to make them feel inadequate. That's the only way they can bolster their own ego. Its really a sad thing to see.
As time marches on, that old school "I'm the captain" attitude is slowly exiting the flight deck. Its still there, no doubt. For the most part, it resides with those old crusty bastards that should have retired when they were 60 (or earlier) yet congress now lets them stay 5 years longer. And yes, this has indeed prevented many top notch young pilots from getting airline jobs, since those jobs haven't been available with these crusties not leaving.
In time though, they will. Just as their predecessors did decades before. The best thing us younger pilots can do is keep a list of all the "I'll never be like that," traits we saw in those crusties. And make sure we review that list from time to time as we move our profession forward.
I once heard that, "Character is doing the right thing, even when no one is looking." I think this a big part of professionalism. The NTSB's Deb Hersmann once said, "You never know on which flight, your career will be judged." I feel Mrs. Hersmann is definitely hitting the nail on the head.
But, there are many others who have some other ideas on what professionalism is. If you ask the public, you might get answers like, "Sharp looking, clean shaven, hat wearing, grey hair, deep voice, and smooth landing." If you ask the company, you'd get something like, "Doesn't complain, gets the flight out on time." If you ask others they might describe someone very good at their job, perhaps to the point of being cold and emotionless.
For me, there are many facets of a professional pilot. However, more than the list of traits itself, is an order of importance. Further more, this order of importance changes with each unique situation. While "outward appearance" is something that is important, I think people put far too much value in. After all, consider a shady businessman. Just because he looks good and fit, is charming, and wears a nice suit, doesn't mean he knows anything besides how to screw you over and take all of your money. I believe the same holds true for pilots. I have met and flown with pilots that really looked sharp, fit, dashing, and experienced, were still complete douches on more than a few occasions. Just because you look the part, doesn't mean you actually can play the part.
So, which is more important? Do you really want someone that only looks professional? Or would you rather have someone that doesn't look as sharp, but will do a far superior job in handling strange and challenging situations, working well with a variety of other personalities, keeping passengers informed and calm, and perhaps even be a better pilot. I know the best answer is both. However, that would only leave me and about 50 other pilots in the whole world! ;-)
There are more than a few pilots out there who don't wear the gay hat, don't have a head full of grey hair, but who are very good at the job of being an airline pilot. Do they look like they've been doing this job for 50 years? No. Do they question authority? Maybe. Do they act like they are God? No. Do they jump down the throat of a fellow crew member who questions anything? Not in the least. Do, they know their shit? Definitely. Are they team players? Absolutely. Do they scream and cry like little girls when a time critical situation presents itself? Not in the least. Honestly, the actual "flying" portion of this job is far and away, the easiest part. Sure you want someone that can fly the plane. But there is so much more to it in order to be a true and safe professional.
A professional crew is one that does their job and maintains control amidst all the crap that comes with this job. There are people who can filter out the garbage and deal with the situation amidst chaos around them. Not everyone is up for this job. Even those that are, usually require a lot of training to become seasoned in this behavior. It's not easy, but this is the kind of person you want in the front of your plane when the shit hits the fan. You don't want a pansy up there who goes to water when anything is out of the norm. You also don't want a cowboy who just starts flipping switches and guessing his/her way out of problem. You want people who are adaptable, knowledgeable, and calm under pressure. You want team players and you want crew that legitimately want to take care of their crew and passengers.
Yes, lets not forget about those folks behind you: the passengers, AND the flight attendants. Pilots are taught to "Aviate, Navigate, and Communicate" in that order. Yes, you have to fly the damn plane before anything else. Mostly because no matter what you do for navigating and communicating is pointless if you crash. But this really is an extreme. FAR more often are pilots faces with much more mundane challenges. Whether it be something broken on the plane, storms, rough air, delays, etc, its very important to keep others informed. You are part of a crew after all, and you can make your own life considerably easier if you just take a few mins to inform your FAs and the passengers. I really wish there was more on this in terms of selecting pilots to be hired. I really really do.
Egos really have no place in the modern flight deck. There is far too much to be keeping an eye on. There are two pilots up there for a reason. When you have a person who has the attitude of, "I'm the captain and I'm never wrong" well, I'll be the first to say that this person is a dick. And, more often than not, this person with the overblown ego is usually not that good of a pilot themselves. So they lash out at others trying to make them feel inadequate. That's the only way they can bolster their own ego. Its really a sad thing to see.
As time marches on, that old school "I'm the captain" attitude is slowly exiting the flight deck. Its still there, no doubt. For the most part, it resides with those old crusty bastards that should have retired when they were 60 (or earlier) yet congress now lets them stay 5 years longer. And yes, this has indeed prevented many top notch young pilots from getting airline jobs, since those jobs haven't been available with these crusties not leaving.
In time though, they will. Just as their predecessors did decades before. The best thing us younger pilots can do is keep a list of all the "I'll never be like that," traits we saw in those crusties. And make sure we review that list from time to time as we move our profession forward.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Flying on 9-11
I was flying on 9-11 this year. The 10th anniversary of said day. It was a bit of an odd feeling, if I'm honest. Back in 2001, I wasn't even a pilot. Most people can tell you exactly where they were when world changing events occurred. For me, I was at college. Grad school actually. I was talking with a recruiter from Lockheed Martin when I heard a plane had hit the WTC. At that point, it wasn't clear that it was an, "attack." Shortly after, of course, we knew this was going to be one of those historic days. And not in a good way.
On my first flight in the morning, I noticed I had 3 non-uniform USAir pilots on board. I assumed they were heading to NYC for the anniversary ceremonies. I could see in their eyes that this day meant different things to them. Sure it was still a huge tragedy to me, but this was an attack on their careers. I wasn't even a pilot yet when it all happened. So, while I think about the loss of all those people and the towers themselves every single time I fly by lower Manhattan, I think it hits those guys/gals who were working that day 10 years ago, just a little harder.
I even thought about if I would go to any of those ceremonies if I hadn't been working. I was working, so it wasn't an option. But I don't think I'd have gone even if I had the day off. I can't really relate to those who were there, who lost loved ones, who lost fellow airline pilots and/or flight attendants, etc, etc. I was just a grad student trying to land a job. I think those airline gatherings in DC and NYC were more for those who were in this line of work when that all unfolded. I just would feel a bit out of place being there I guess.
I did my share and got my 3 USAir pilots to LGA on time so that they could participate, pay respects, and share some stories about that day with others. I think its important for them to do that. I think its best for me to have worked that day, and let them have the day off to attend those functions. I'm glad I was able to help them get there.
My only regret was we were completely in the clouds at 4000ft while we flew by ground zero on our approach to LGA. The one day that everyone really wanted to look at lower Manhattan and ground zero, and no one could see a thing. *sigh* I guess that's the way it goes sometimes.
On my first flight in the morning, I noticed I had 3 non-uniform USAir pilots on board. I assumed they were heading to NYC for the anniversary ceremonies. I could see in their eyes that this day meant different things to them. Sure it was still a huge tragedy to me, but this was an attack on their careers. I wasn't even a pilot yet when it all happened. So, while I think about the loss of all those people and the towers themselves every single time I fly by lower Manhattan, I think it hits those guys/gals who were working that day 10 years ago, just a little harder.
I even thought about if I would go to any of those ceremonies if I hadn't been working. I was working, so it wasn't an option. But I don't think I'd have gone even if I had the day off. I can't really relate to those who were there, who lost loved ones, who lost fellow airline pilots and/or flight attendants, etc, etc. I was just a grad student trying to land a job. I think those airline gatherings in DC and NYC were more for those who were in this line of work when that all unfolded. I just would feel a bit out of place being there I guess.
I did my share and got my 3 USAir pilots to LGA on time so that they could participate, pay respects, and share some stories about that day with others. I think its important for them to do that. I think its best for me to have worked that day, and let them have the day off to attend those functions. I'm glad I was able to help them get there.
My only regret was we were completely in the clouds at 4000ft while we flew by ground zero on our approach to LGA. The one day that everyone really wanted to look at lower Manhattan and ground zero, and no one could see a thing. *sigh* I guess that's the way it goes sometimes.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Decisions
http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1230222
As many of you had likely seen, some time ago, there was a high school track race that was stopped by the race official for weather/lightning with one lap remaining. The leader was on pace to break the NJ state record. Needless to say, this was a very contentious call. However, regardless of what was going on during the race, if there was a safety issue, the race should be stopped. Plain and simple.
First off, a huge pat on the back to that official. I found this chain of events to be very similar to what its like being an airline pilot. Many times, you are the last and final safety net. And, making a decision like that is not always an easy thing. It's often greatly unpopular, even with the very people you're trying to keep safe!
Not all decisions are cut and dry and they don't always come down to safety. One of the first flights I ever felt like I had to be a dick on, was a flight to New York. After several rounds of departure delays due to weather and traffic congestion in NY, we finally got a "wheels-up time" from ATC. As ATC loves to do sometimes, after 2 hours of waiting, they called and said, "your wheels up time is in 12 mins!" Thanks for that.
So, we got everyone aboard quickly, ran our checklists, and just when I was about to start engines, the flight attendant informed me that someone wanted to get off the plane. I feared it was something major like a medical emergency or they left the stove on at home, family member was just in a car accident, etc, etc. The FA then said, "They can't find their phone and they think they left it in the gate area and they want to go get it."
No matter what decision was made, it had to be made fast. If we let this person off search for their phone, we were not going to make our wheels up time. This would delay the rest of the passengers at LEAST another 45 mins, likely more.
The choice basically boiled down to having one person upset or 31 people upset. There was no way to please everyone in this instance. If I was a dick to 1 person, then 31 other people could get where they were going and have a chance at making connections.
I like math. 31 is quite a bit larger than 1. It was a pretty easy choice, but still not one that I took lightly. I knew this person was going to be hosed over without their phone. However, they should also have been more careful with not leaving it around in an airport! (and, I also didn't rule out the chance that they in fact DID have their phone buried in they're bag somewhere and just couldn't find it at that moment.)
I elected to not let the passenger off to look for their phone. If we let them off, they wouldn't be getting back on. That was the decision. I did have the FO call station operations on the radio when we got airborne and relay to the station that a passenger lost a cell phone in the gate area of our flight and then we provided the station phone number to the passenger so that arrangements could be made if the phone was recovered.
People make mistakes, I know. I make plenty. However, I would rather this one person have to deal with repercussions for their mistake, rather than screw over 31 others for their mistake. And, there was no guarantee that the phone was in the terminal. All we knew was they couldn't find it at the moment and figured they MIGHT have left it inside. You can't please everyone all the time. And, if you try, you will almost certainly piss off everyone.
So, to the person that lost their phone, I hope you got it back. Better yet, hope you found it in your bag or coat pocket after the flight. I didn't enjoy being a dick in not letting you go back in the terminal and look for your phone, but I did have some other things to consider.
As many of you had likely seen, some time ago, there was a high school track race that was stopped by the race official for weather/lightning with one lap remaining. The leader was on pace to break the NJ state record. Needless to say, this was a very contentious call. However, regardless of what was going on during the race, if there was a safety issue, the race should be stopped. Plain and simple.
First off, a huge pat on the back to that official. I found this chain of events to be very similar to what its like being an airline pilot. Many times, you are the last and final safety net. And, making a decision like that is not always an easy thing. It's often greatly unpopular, even with the very people you're trying to keep safe!
Not all decisions are cut and dry and they don't always come down to safety. One of the first flights I ever felt like I had to be a dick on, was a flight to New York. After several rounds of departure delays due to weather and traffic congestion in NY, we finally got a "wheels-up time" from ATC. As ATC loves to do sometimes, after 2 hours of waiting, they called and said, "your wheels up time is in 12 mins!" Thanks for that.
So, we got everyone aboard quickly, ran our checklists, and just when I was about to start engines, the flight attendant informed me that someone wanted to get off the plane. I feared it was something major like a medical emergency or they left the stove on at home, family member was just in a car accident, etc, etc. The FA then said, "They can't find their phone and they think they left it in the gate area and they want to go get it."
No matter what decision was made, it had to be made fast. If we let this person off search for their phone, we were not going to make our wheels up time. This would delay the rest of the passengers at LEAST another 45 mins, likely more.
The choice basically boiled down to having one person upset or 31 people upset. There was no way to please everyone in this instance. If I was a dick to 1 person, then 31 other people could get where they were going and have a chance at making connections.
I like math. 31 is quite a bit larger than 1. It was a pretty easy choice, but still not one that I took lightly. I knew this person was going to be hosed over without their phone. However, they should also have been more careful with not leaving it around in an airport! (and, I also didn't rule out the chance that they in fact DID have their phone buried in they're bag somewhere and just couldn't find it at that moment.)
I elected to not let the passenger off to look for their phone. If we let them off, they wouldn't be getting back on. That was the decision. I did have the FO call station operations on the radio when we got airborne and relay to the station that a passenger lost a cell phone in the gate area of our flight and then we provided the station phone number to the passenger so that arrangements could be made if the phone was recovered.
People make mistakes, I know. I make plenty. However, I would rather this one person have to deal with repercussions for their mistake, rather than screw over 31 others for their mistake. And, there was no guarantee that the phone was in the terminal. All we knew was they couldn't find it at the moment and figured they MIGHT have left it inside. You can't please everyone all the time. And, if you try, you will almost certainly piss off everyone.
So, to the person that lost their phone, I hope you got it back. Better yet, hope you found it in your bag or coat pocket after the flight. I didn't enjoy being a dick in not letting you go back in the terminal and look for your phone, but I did have some other things to consider.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The Oatmeal might be on to something
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/airplane_layout
This is a good comparison on how commercial aircraft are currently arranged, verses how they perhaps should be arranged.
Matthew Inman has lots of good stuff over at theoatmeal.com.
This is a good comparison on how commercial aircraft are currently arranged, verses how they perhaps should be arranged.
Matthew Inman has lots of good stuff over at theoatmeal.com.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
CEO Secrets Released
from CNN Money
How to get paid like a U.S. CEO
July 5, 2011: 10:57 AM ET
While millions are still out of work, U.S. CEOs received a 28% pay raise this past year. A lot of factors are driving the increases. Job performance isn't one of them. By Eleanor Bloxham, contributor
FORTUNE -- Did you get a decent raise last year? How about 28% without having to change jobs, vie for a promotion or outperform your peers?
If you were a CEO of an S&P 500 company last year and your pay only went up 28%, then sorry, but half your peers did better than you.
So with millions out of work, how do U.S. CEOs keep their pay rising in good times and bad? The short answer is an army of support and a few small distinctions.
Here's how it's done.
Step One. Ignore global benchmarks in setting pay.
While outsourcing may be negatively affecting your pay as a non-CEO or your ability to find work, U.S. CEO salaries are soaring in part because of the failure of boards to compare the pay of U.S. CEOs against their global counterparts.
Exxon's (XOM) board, for example, doesn't use other global energy firms when setting their CEO's pay. And Wal-Mart's (WMT) board compares its CEO's pay mainly to CEO pay at other U.S. firms and fails to include no. 2 world retailer Carrefour, no. 3 Metro AG, , or no. 4 Tesco among their benchmark companies.
Why does that have an impact? Recent research by professors Nuno Fernandes, Miguel Ferreira, Pedro Matos, and Kevin Murphy finds that, on average, U.S. CEOs earned double their non-U.S. counterparts between 2003 and 2008. And, adjusting for firm size and industry, U.S. CEOs still earn around 80% more than their non U.S. based peers.
Step Two. Convince your bosses that pay need not be based on your performance.
In fact, they can just ignore performance in setting pay. While we'd all like to have a nickel every time someone said CEO pay is based on the principles of "pay for performance", research by Fernandes and his colleagues shows that U.S. CEOs aren't being paid double their global counterparts because they are doing a fantastic job. (Additional research supports the argument that U.S. CEO pay has little relationship to a CEO's job performance.) So, if it's not to do with performance, what is driving CEO pay upward?
Step Three: Get equity.
The research shows that U.S. CEO pay is higher primarily because U.S. CEOs are awarded high levels of equity compensation, which includes pay in the form of company stock and stock options. But you can't stop there.
Step Four: To make sure the gravy train doesn't stop, get institutional shareholders to believe your equity pay benefits them.
When companies have U.S. institutional owners, boards are more likely to offer high levels of equity compensation (and, in turn, total compensation), the research shows. U.S. institutional owners have pushed for greater equity-based pay based on the assumption that offering pay incentives like stock and stock options boost performance and align pay with performance. That has not been the case, however.
When insiders, rather than institutions, hold more of a company's stock -- for example, in family-owned firms -- "they keep pay down," says Fernandes. There's "better discipline." Insiders do a better job of controlling the CEO than outside institutional owners have, he says.
Step Five: Get an independent committee to determine your pay.
According to the research from Fernandes and Co., regardless of a company's size, higher CEO pay is associated with a board comprised of more independent directors. But isn't it counterintuitive that having more independent directors would lead to higher pay? Perhaps on the surface, yes, but independent directors are likely more attuned to institutional owners' interests.
If U.S. institutional owners want more equity-based pay, which leads to outsized U.S. (versus non U.S.) pay, independent directors are more likely to deliver what they think institutional owners want. The directors are "shielding themselves from [liability] problems" by handing out "higher equity based pay," Fernandes says.
Step Six: Make sure your company is listed in the U.S.
Fernandes says that the U.S. is exporting its pay practices abroad. When non-U.S. firms are traded on U.S. exchanges, the firm's CEO pay gets a boost.
Step Seven: Take advantage of regulation to boost your pay and make the case that your additional pay is in shareholders' best interests. (You are really doing it for them.)
How do you pull this one off? Use regulation and accounting conventions to justify pay increases. For example, in 1993, Congress passed legislation that limited the amount of base executive pay that companies could deduct in their taxes to $1 million. This legislation is often cited as one of the drivers for the rise of CEO incentive pay.
Another driver has been past U.S. accounting conventions related to stock options. In the past, the expense of paying executives with stock options did not have to be included on the company's income statement. This accounting, which made companies' income statements look better because the stock option compensation did not show up as an expense, is often cited as a key contributor to the rise in CEO incentive pay.
Going forward, James Reda, founder and managing director of compensation firm James F. Reda and Associates, predicts that a new Dodd-Frank requirement to include a chart that compares executive pay with performance will be used as yet another "excuse to increase pay" for CEOs at U.S. companies.
"Companies will use this as a rallying cry to increase pay," he says, and they'll be "slicing and dicing the information any way they like." If one performance metric doesn't work, they'll just change the comparison, Reda says. Reda predicts in five years we'll see a doubling of U.S. CEO pay from the current levels.
So those are your seven steps to be paid like a U.S. CEO -- although they may not be so easy to duplicate for the non-CEOs among us. Of course, corporate boards could study other approaches to motivating and rewarding good CEO performance, which does seem to be an issue of concern. A survey released in May by the National Association of Corporate Directors (NACD) with compensation consultants Pearl Meyer & Partners showed that "a total of 33% of respondents … ranked 'the selection of performance goals that align with shareholder value creation' as their top Board issue."
Perhaps institutional owners could also rethink what they want. Has higher equity based pay been worth the money they've spent? What signals do they really want to send?
Higher CEO pay is likely not going to benefit you. It means fewer dollars in the coffers for your raises, no better performance for your company, and more unemployed workers, rather than new hires who could help you with your growing workload.
Maybe it's time for more than a collective sigh. Let's hope the U.S. contagion won't spread too far too fast.
Eleanor Bloxham is CEO of The Value Alliance and Corporate Governance Alliance (http://thevaluealliance.com), a board advisory firm.
How to get paid like a U.S. CEO
July 5, 2011: 10:57 AM ET
While millions are still out of work, U.S. CEOs received a 28% pay raise this past year. A lot of factors are driving the increases. Job performance isn't one of them. By Eleanor Bloxham, contributor
FORTUNE -- Did you get a decent raise last year? How about 28% without having to change jobs, vie for a promotion or outperform your peers?
If you were a CEO of an S&P 500 company last year and your pay only went up 28%, then sorry, but half your peers did better than you.
So with millions out of work, how do U.S. CEOs keep their pay rising in good times and bad? The short answer is an army of support and a few small distinctions.
Here's how it's done.
Step One. Ignore global benchmarks in setting pay.
While outsourcing may be negatively affecting your pay as a non-CEO or your ability to find work, U.S. CEO salaries are soaring in part because of the failure of boards to compare the pay of U.S. CEOs against their global counterparts.
Exxon's (XOM) board, for example, doesn't use other global energy firms when setting their CEO's pay. And Wal-Mart's (WMT) board compares its CEO's pay mainly to CEO pay at other U.S. firms and fails to include no. 2 world retailer Carrefour, no. 3 Metro AG, , or no. 4 Tesco among their benchmark companies.
Why does that have an impact? Recent research by professors Nuno Fernandes, Miguel Ferreira, Pedro Matos, and Kevin Murphy finds that, on average, U.S. CEOs earned double their non-U.S. counterparts between 2003 and 2008. And, adjusting for firm size and industry, U.S. CEOs still earn around 80% more than their non U.S. based peers.
Step Two. Convince your bosses that pay need not be based on your performance.
In fact, they can just ignore performance in setting pay. While we'd all like to have a nickel every time someone said CEO pay is based on the principles of "pay for performance", research by Fernandes and his colleagues shows that U.S. CEOs aren't being paid double their global counterparts because they are doing a fantastic job. (Additional research supports the argument that U.S. CEO pay has little relationship to a CEO's job performance.) So, if it's not to do with performance, what is driving CEO pay upward?
Step Three: Get equity.
The research shows that U.S. CEO pay is higher primarily because U.S. CEOs are awarded high levels of equity compensation, which includes pay in the form of company stock and stock options. But you can't stop there.
Step Four: To make sure the gravy train doesn't stop, get institutional shareholders to believe your equity pay benefits them.
When companies have U.S. institutional owners, boards are more likely to offer high levels of equity compensation (and, in turn, total compensation), the research shows. U.S. institutional owners have pushed for greater equity-based pay based on the assumption that offering pay incentives like stock and stock options boost performance and align pay with performance. That has not been the case, however.
When insiders, rather than institutions, hold more of a company's stock -- for example, in family-owned firms -- "they keep pay down," says Fernandes. There's "better discipline." Insiders do a better job of controlling the CEO than outside institutional owners have, he says.
Step Five: Get an independent committee to determine your pay.
According to the research from Fernandes and Co., regardless of a company's size, higher CEO pay is associated with a board comprised of more independent directors. But isn't it counterintuitive that having more independent directors would lead to higher pay? Perhaps on the surface, yes, but independent directors are likely more attuned to institutional owners' interests.
If U.S. institutional owners want more equity-based pay, which leads to outsized U.S. (versus non U.S.) pay, independent directors are more likely to deliver what they think institutional owners want. The directors are "shielding themselves from [liability] problems" by handing out "higher equity based pay," Fernandes says.
Step Six: Make sure your company is listed in the U.S.
Fernandes says that the U.S. is exporting its pay practices abroad. When non-U.S. firms are traded on U.S. exchanges, the firm's CEO pay gets a boost.
Step Seven: Take advantage of regulation to boost your pay and make the case that your additional pay is in shareholders' best interests. (You are really doing it for them.)
How do you pull this one off? Use regulation and accounting conventions to justify pay increases. For example, in 1993, Congress passed legislation that limited the amount of base executive pay that companies could deduct in their taxes to $1 million. This legislation is often cited as one of the drivers for the rise of CEO incentive pay.
Another driver has been past U.S. accounting conventions related to stock options. In the past, the expense of paying executives with stock options did not have to be included on the company's income statement. This accounting, which made companies' income statements look better because the stock option compensation did not show up as an expense, is often cited as a key contributor to the rise in CEO incentive pay.
Going forward, James Reda, founder and managing director of compensation firm James F. Reda and Associates, predicts that a new Dodd-Frank requirement to include a chart that compares executive pay with performance will be used as yet another "excuse to increase pay" for CEOs at U.S. companies.
"Companies will use this as a rallying cry to increase pay," he says, and they'll be "slicing and dicing the information any way they like." If one performance metric doesn't work, they'll just change the comparison, Reda says. Reda predicts in five years we'll see a doubling of U.S. CEO pay from the current levels.
So those are your seven steps to be paid like a U.S. CEO -- although they may not be so easy to duplicate for the non-CEOs among us. Of course, corporate boards could study other approaches to motivating and rewarding good CEO performance, which does seem to be an issue of concern. A survey released in May by the National Association of Corporate Directors (NACD) with compensation consultants Pearl Meyer & Partners showed that "a total of 33% of respondents … ranked 'the selection of performance goals that align with shareholder value creation' as their top Board issue."
Perhaps institutional owners could also rethink what they want. Has higher equity based pay been worth the money they've spent? What signals do they really want to send?
Higher CEO pay is likely not going to benefit you. It means fewer dollars in the coffers for your raises, no better performance for your company, and more unemployed workers, rather than new hires who could help you with your growing workload.
Maybe it's time for more than a collective sigh. Let's hope the U.S. contagion won't spread too far too fast.
Eleanor Bloxham is CEO of The Value Alliance and Corporate Governance Alliance (http://thevaluealliance.com), a board advisory firm.
Monday, July 11, 2011
What is an "Auto-Pilot?"
Just about every time there is some media coverage about an aircraft, it's usually an accident of some kind. And, in that coverage there is usually the mention of an aircraft's "auto-pilot." I seriously doubt the general public has an understanding of what an auto-pilot is and what it does and doesn't do. Most people think it's an "ON" button that takes over and the pilots are no longer needed. First, not all aircraft have an auto-pilot. For the most part, any aircraft you fly on as an airline passenger these days, has an auto-pilot(AP). This is not always the case, however, and I'll talk about that a bit later.
The basic reason for an AP: to ease crew workload. Patrick Smith stated in one of his articles, that when you look at any modern flightdeck, there is no "land at nearest airport" button. However, in the eyes of some completely ignorant douchefaces, the AP has made pilots obsolete, and to be an airline pilot is to be paid lots of money for a job that is all automated anyways. Yes, in the same way that Microsoft Windows has removed the need for any career IT personnel.
So, let us get into some facts. There are two basic types of AP, 2 axis and 3 axis. Most of the regional jets have a 2-axis AP. Without getting too technical, it will hold the wings level and even follow some type of lateral course, and hold a set altitude. Nicer, larger planes will have 3-axis APs, which are coupled with auto-throttles and will also follow a vertical track through the air as well. (called VNAV)
When then the AP is on, the pilot is not just sitting back drinking coffee doing nothing. In many cases, the pilot is still very much flying the aircraft. They are doing so through the AP itself by pushing buttons and turning knobs, rather than making control inputs on the yoke directly. In this case, the pilot is not at all being "replaced" by the computer. The computer is merely an extension of the pilot's hands.
When you are just cruising along at high altitude, its very nice to have a computer to hold the wings level and hold altitude. Ever feel really really tired when driving, and when you have your buddy switch with you and start driving, you are all of a sudden awake? That's the workload difference between just watching over things, and actually be constantly analyzing the motion and position of the car, and putting in all the steering and accelerator pedal inputs.
I have flown routes into places like Atlanta, Chicago, and New York, which are some of the busiest airports in the nation. Workload can be very high in these environments. Especially when bad weather is further complicating things. Having an AP to help you out here can be very advantageous as well, since you're attention will be divided among more than a few areas.
The other side of the coin here is that the FAA seems to be pressing the issue that flight crews operate with the AP on damn nearly ALL THE TIME. They want the AP on shortly after take off, and they don't want it off until a few hundred feet from touchdown. For several reasons, this is a bad idea in terms of a mandate. The AP does lower workload in most scenarios. However, not all scenarios are made easier by AP usage. Visual approaches are a great first example.
During a visual approach, a pilot will be simultaneously slowing the aircraft, banking the aircraft, and pitching the nose over. This is easily done all together when hand flying the aircraft. To do this with the AP, you will be doing three different things, having to use multiple sets of knobs and buttons. You might be selecting a heading mode, then turning a heading knob, then selecting a vertical mode, and setting it with a knob, and then you might be pulling the power back as well, to control your airspeed, or selecting a speed with a knob for a 3-axis AP. Oh, and you then might be arming and tuning and approach mode to back up the visual approach. And in doing so, you're spending a lot of time looking inside when you are in a congested terminal area. Does that sound like a lot of work? You would be correct! It is.
To explain this in a different way, think about driving your car with an AP. Think about driving down a highway, unable to just seamlessly change your speed with the accelerator pedal, and smoothly point the front of the car where you want to go with the steering wheel. Instead you have a button to select if you want your car to maintain a certain speed, or if you want to set up a constant acceleration or deceleration. Then, you have a knob that you can set it with, say, "60MPH." Then, to steer, you have to select the correct mode on your control panel, to change the direction of the car, and then a knob to actually tune in what direction you want.
Lets also consider arming a NAV mode like having your car AP follow a GPS course that you program in. Sounds great. However, there are still things like stop signs, speed limits, and traffic lights to content with, not to mention other traffic! The GPS unit doesn't know about these things. So, just telling your car to go to the shops, and sitting back with your coffee, is asking for some trouble. You need to be aware of everything that is still happening around you. Not to mention, it takes you, the driver, the understanding and knowledge to program the GPS with the correct routing in the first place!
Here's another reason its bad that the FAA wants the AP engaged at all times. In airline flying, there is something called, "a deferral." This happens quite a lot, actually. Way more often than you would ever think. Why is this? Well, honestly, its based on money. There is a large amount of items and systems on an aircraft that have been deemed not 100% necessary. The FAA allows the company to still operate this aircraft, carrying paying passengers, with these systems inoperative. Some of these deferrals have certain procedures for the company and crew to follow when operating the aircraft with these systems being broken, others restrict the aircraft to daytime operations only, etc, etc. It really varies based on what system or systems are inoperative, as you would expect.
Now, there is a scenario called an "RA." This stands for resolution advisory, and basically, this is when two aircraft are on a collision or near-collision course. The aircraft themselves have proximity monitoring systems which will detect this, regardless what the weather and viability is. The FAA mandates that the AP be disconnected, and the evasive maneuver be hand flown. Why? Because the auto pilot will not react in time. Well, it is perfectly legal for an aircraft to be dispatched for a flight with a full load of paying passengers, into crap weather, with the auto pilot deferred. Now, if all pilots are following the FAA's recommendation to only fly with the AP on, we might not quite be as good at handflying as we should be. After all, we are "pilots," right?
Of course, none of this is even touching on just how often a pilot has to override the automation in an aircraft because its doing something unexpected. It could be for a million different reasons why the aircraft doesn't do what it should do, but regardless of the reason, the pilot needs to be vigilant of the plane at all times and not let the airplane do anything unexpected. I have seen aircraft automation do weird things countless times. Sometimes, its because I set something up wrong. (computers are famous for the whole "garbage in, garbage out.") Other times, its a error or failure in the AP itself. Other times, something totally weird happens. No idea why, but the plane just does something totally strange and unexpected. Just like Microsoft Windows does things, usually on a daily basis, that you don't expect.
Either way you slice it, the number of times that I had to "take back" the plane from the AP, and put it back on track, is nearly countless. For someone to make the argument that aircraft accidents are caused by pilot error, and taking the pilot out of the plane will drastically improve air safety, is to reveal their true ignorance and completely ignore the actual underlying causes of these accidents. Don't forget, if the AP does something unexpected and turns the aircraft into a mountain, it's still put down to pilot error, since the pilots (yes, plural!) didn't catch the error and do something about it.
An AP is really just another tool for pilots to use. When used properly, just like electronic engine controls, weather radar, etc, it will help pilots manage tasks and contribute to a safer operation. People who really think an AP removes the need for a human pilot, truly have no idea what they are talking about and are just making noise trying to get attention. Do you think the plane full of survivors on Sully's Airbus that landed in the Hudson would rather be on a plane that was flown solely by a computer? How about Al Haynes' DC-10 that crashed in Sioux City?
Above image from toonpool.com
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Rollaboard Maintenance
Your first question might be, "What the hell is a rollaboard?" If so, this post might not be for you, but just to clarify, a Rollaboard is the wheeled luggage that a flight crew member will use to carry around all their personal belongings while on a trip. (i.e. shirts, jeans, undies, socks, deodorant, toothbrush, etc, etc, etc.) I believe the term comes from that fact that air crews sometimes will fly on a lot of different airplanes during a multi-day trip. So as they go from plane to plane, they have their stuff and, "roll it aboard."
One of the most common flight crew luggage choices is made by a company called, "Luggage Works." These have been around for a while and have gone through quite a few iterations to become one of the best rollaboards you can have. Especially when flying in the regionals when most planes don't have a place for you to keep your rollaboard in the flightdeck. Some don't even have a place for you to keep your rollaboard in the cabin! Yup, on some regional aircraft, the crew bags ride in the cargo bin just like the passenger bags. The LW bags are very stout. They aren't the lightest bags you will find, and not the cheapest, but they will last better than just about anything else.
I love mine because of its size, its durability, and two other key features that I couldn't find on other bags: a long handle and real roller bearings in the wheels. And, those wheels are placed at the widest possible places for maximum stability. This might not be necessary for people that only fly a couple of times each year, but for people that fly around 250-200 days per year, and considering just how much time is spent pulling it around, its worthwhile to have something top notch.
Well, its been more than few years since mine first entered service. It was in need of some basic maintenance. Others with LW will attest to regular screw-tightening rituals. I have also noticed some screws missing now. So, I decided to put a bit of time and money into this thing. After all, it is my, "Mobile Home."
For those interested in some maintenance on their LW bags, here's a few things I can recommend. The closest match for the external screws that loosen from time to time, are #8 x 5/8" sheet metal screws that can be found at any hardware or home improvement store. A pack of ten screws will run you a buck or two. Also worth noting, the 3 screws along the bottom edge of the front of the frame on the LW, are #8 x 1/4" sheet metal screws. They are the same thread and width as the others, just shorter.
I highly recommend taking 10 mins out of your day to use thread lock all these screws. I use this product from Loctite. Go one by one, around the frame, remove a screw, squirt some of this goo on the threads of the screw, and then screw it back in. (Cordless drill with Philips screwdriver bit exceedingly recommended here.) Keep some paper towels at hand as this loctite stuff can be slightly messy, but it will really assist in those screws not working loose.
My wheels are still in decent shape, but when it comes time to replace those, all it takes is a visit to any rollerblade or sporting goods store as the LW bags use rollerblade wheels and bearings. So, pick whatever you like and you're set to go there.
All in all, I think the LW bag is the best you can have for this career. It's also quite often you see flight crews from all sorts of companies using this bag, so I'm not alone in this opinion. If your interested in one, you can find more info about them at http://www.luggageworksonline.com/.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Bags
There are checked bags, carry on bags... and then there's ass bags. Anyone that has flown into and out of EWR/LGA/JFK knows that ATC flow control delays are a part of the norm. On this day there was a line of weather to the west of Newark and it was hosing up all the arrival and departure routing. Juuust as the passengers started boarding the plane in Detroit, we got word that we had been given a 2 hour delay. We were stuck at the gate. Considering the length of the delay, we let everyone stay in the terminal so that they had access to space, real bathrooms, restaurants, etc.
We decided to start boarding the flight 40 mins before our slot time. That should be enough time to get boarded plus another 10 mins to taxi out to the runway and be ready for our departure slot time. The gate agent must have had other ideas, however. It became obvious that she was only wanting to get the door closed by our slot time. It was a downright struggle to just get people boarded in 30 mins. Unreal. Then, since the flight was so late, the tug and tug driver were somewhere else. So, we had to call our operations people and try to get a tug to come back and push us off the gate. ATC usually gives you +/-5 mins leeway on your slot time. We arrived at the end of the runway right at the +5 mins. If we'd been one more minute late, we'd likely be sitting off to the side, or even perhaps returning to the gate to await another slot time. Needless to say, we were pretty pissed with the gate agent and ground crew.
We blasted off, and headed to EWR. We had some storms to go around, we had some speed reductions and delay vectors to hold us back further while enroute. Again, not really out of the norm considering the weather. We even had to be in contact with dispatch to verify the new routing with them to ensure we had adequate fuel to accept the routing and still have enough left for our alternate airport as well.
As we got closer to the line of weather, it was evident that we'd have to find a path through the storm cells. We had a few options, but one seemed the best course, so we stuck with that. We punched through a decent gap and only got bumped around for a short time. Wasn't too bad at all. After that, we got vectored around some of the smaller storms as we descended down below 10,000ft and got into the terminal area. Things around the NYC area can already be tense due to the traffic volume, so having weather in the area just adds to it. Needless to say, it was exceedingly busy for the last 30 mins of the flight.
We managed our way through it all and even stayed fast on final approach (per ATC request) to help them out with spacing for aircraft in trail of us. Then, we slowed on short final, and I even managed to squeak out a sweet greaser of a landing with the gusty crosswinds (pure luck, I'm guessing). I was feeling pretty good about it all. It was a lot of work and a lot of items to juggle. But, we worked together as a crew and made it work.
Ground control in EWR was busy as usual and they gave us a pretty complicated taxi route. Of course, there were about 40 other planes taxing around us, coming and going. So, even though we were on the ground, it wasn't time to sit back and let our guard down. We followed everything to the T and got to the gate.
Once we got parked, another wet towel was thrown into the goings-on. The jet bridge didn't work. The ramp personnel fought with it for at least 5 mins while the passengers were waiting to get off the plane, a full 2 hours later than originally planned.
Now, I know things happen, but I will say this. I was in EWR only a few days prior. And that very same damn jet bridge didn't work then either! I don't buy the fact that this very jet bridge ONLY goes on the fritz when I'm in town. I don't buy it for one minute. Those personnel KNEW that jet bridge didn't work. Yet, they still spent 5 mins dicking with it. Then, they took another 10 mins to get their act together so that we could unload the passengers via the airstairs and then have them walk up the metal stairs up into the jet bridge. And, we had two passengers that required wheelchairs. No, they weren't ready for that either. That was another 10 min wait after everyone else had gotten off the plane. They totally and completely dropped the ball. Why is it that only the flight crews seem to be the ones held to the "high customer service standard?"
Most people, as usual, were at least understanding of the weather and traffic delays. I think the jet bridge issue was the final straw and really ticked some people off, myself included. I knew it had been a problem there for several days.
However, what REALLY did it for me, was some suit wearing cock monkey who got off the plane, looked at the crew and said, "Piss poor job today, boys!" It took every ounce of my being not to grab this fat, ignorant and arrogant ass clown by the throat and rip him 17 brand new assholes, R. Lee Ermey style. All that was going through my head was "Ex-fucking-scuse me??? I just busted by ass, lost 2 hrs out of MY sleep for tonight, and battled my own company every step of the way to get you here as fast as I could and as safely as possible. I did not a single thing wrong. Not one. I made this flight happen. I got you here to your destination safely. Don't you dare pull that shitty little bitch ass adolescent attitude with me about how I did a piss poor job. You don't like flying this airline? Go find another! Go! Get the fuck off my aircraft. I don't want your damn business if you're such a colon roaster. It's people like you that do nothing but piss and fucking moan about every damn thing in the world. You're just a miserable human being and I don't care for all my other passengers to have to deal with a dick face like you in the cabin. Everyone else here will be happier without you around. Get lost."
Was I bitter? Yeah... a bit. The lesson? The flight crew is the most visible part of the airline operation. However, they are certainly not always the ones to blame when things don't go well. In fact, they are usually the ones doing everything they can do make things happen while pushing against every other department in the company.
We decided to start boarding the flight 40 mins before our slot time. That should be enough time to get boarded plus another 10 mins to taxi out to the runway and be ready for our departure slot time. The gate agent must have had other ideas, however. It became obvious that she was only wanting to get the door closed by our slot time. It was a downright struggle to just get people boarded in 30 mins. Unreal. Then, since the flight was so late, the tug and tug driver were somewhere else. So, we had to call our operations people and try to get a tug to come back and push us off the gate. ATC usually gives you +/-5 mins leeway on your slot time. We arrived at the end of the runway right at the +5 mins. If we'd been one more minute late, we'd likely be sitting off to the side, or even perhaps returning to the gate to await another slot time. Needless to say, we were pretty pissed with the gate agent and ground crew.
We blasted off, and headed to EWR. We had some storms to go around, we had some speed reductions and delay vectors to hold us back further while enroute. Again, not really out of the norm considering the weather. We even had to be in contact with dispatch to verify the new routing with them to ensure we had adequate fuel to accept the routing and still have enough left for our alternate airport as well.
As we got closer to the line of weather, it was evident that we'd have to find a path through the storm cells. We had a few options, but one seemed the best course, so we stuck with that. We punched through a decent gap and only got bumped around for a short time. Wasn't too bad at all. After that, we got vectored around some of the smaller storms as we descended down below 10,000ft and got into the terminal area. Things around the NYC area can already be tense due to the traffic volume, so having weather in the area just adds to it. Needless to say, it was exceedingly busy for the last 30 mins of the flight.
We managed our way through it all and even stayed fast on final approach (per ATC request) to help them out with spacing for aircraft in trail of us. Then, we slowed on short final, and I even managed to squeak out a sweet greaser of a landing with the gusty crosswinds (pure luck, I'm guessing). I was feeling pretty good about it all. It was a lot of work and a lot of items to juggle. But, we worked together as a crew and made it work.
Ground control in EWR was busy as usual and they gave us a pretty complicated taxi route. Of course, there were about 40 other planes taxing around us, coming and going. So, even though we were on the ground, it wasn't time to sit back and let our guard down. We followed everything to the T and got to the gate.
Once we got parked, another wet towel was thrown into the goings-on. The jet bridge didn't work. The ramp personnel fought with it for at least 5 mins while the passengers were waiting to get off the plane, a full 2 hours later than originally planned.
Now, I know things happen, but I will say this. I was in EWR only a few days prior. And that very same damn jet bridge didn't work then either! I don't buy the fact that this very jet bridge ONLY goes on the fritz when I'm in town. I don't buy it for one minute. Those personnel KNEW that jet bridge didn't work. Yet, they still spent 5 mins dicking with it. Then, they took another 10 mins to get their act together so that we could unload the passengers via the airstairs and then have them walk up the metal stairs up into the jet bridge. And, we had two passengers that required wheelchairs. No, they weren't ready for that either. That was another 10 min wait after everyone else had gotten off the plane. They totally and completely dropped the ball. Why is it that only the flight crews seem to be the ones held to the "high customer service standard?"
Most people, as usual, were at least understanding of the weather and traffic delays. I think the jet bridge issue was the final straw and really ticked some people off, myself included. I knew it had been a problem there for several days.
However, what REALLY did it for me, was some suit wearing cock monkey who got off the plane, looked at the crew and said, "Piss poor job today, boys!" It took every ounce of my being not to grab this fat, ignorant and arrogant ass clown by the throat and rip him 17 brand new assholes, R. Lee Ermey style. All that was going through my head was "Ex-fucking-scuse me??? I just busted by ass, lost 2 hrs out of MY sleep for tonight, and battled my own company every step of the way to get you here as fast as I could and as safely as possible. I did not a single thing wrong. Not one. I made this flight happen. I got you here to your destination safely. Don't you dare pull that shitty little bitch ass adolescent attitude with me about how I did a piss poor job. You don't like flying this airline? Go find another! Go! Get the fuck off my aircraft. I don't want your damn business if you're such a colon roaster. It's people like you that do nothing but piss and fucking moan about every damn thing in the world. You're just a miserable human being and I don't care for all my other passengers to have to deal with a dick face like you in the cabin. Everyone else here will be happier without you around. Get lost."
Was I bitter? Yeah... a bit. The lesson? The flight crew is the most visible part of the airline operation. However, they are certainly not always the ones to blame when things don't go well. In fact, they are usually the ones doing everything they can do make things happen while pushing against every other department in the company.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Adventure in Decline
I'll be the first to admit, I'm not a huge movie fan. I don't dislike movies, but I just don't think you get what you pay for going out to see a movie anymore. I did, however, finally see "Amelia" on DVD last week, and it sparked a bit of thought. In Amelia Earhart's day, aviation was a completely different industry than it is today. Adventure in this line of work is not what it once was, and I think it peaks extremely early in a commercial pilot's career.
Now, it's certainly worth noting up top that it is a good thing that "adventure" isn't a normal component of part 121 air travel. I'm pretty sure the traveling public likes it that way. They want dull, boring, and routine. And, that's fair enough. I understand where they are coming from with that, but it certainly does take away from the romantic pilot image.
I think one of the biggest adventures for a new pilot is that first solo flight. I think it might even be the pinnacle for a pilot's career. It is a tremendous feeling the first time your CFI turns you loose for a few laps around the field. At this point, you likely have very little in the way of hours in your logbook, and much of what you're about to do, is very new. The first solo is an adventure. The first time you part ways with the tarmac, and its just you and the plane. It's your first real "gut-check" in flying. There's no one else to make any inputs on the controls. No one else to take up any space inside the cabin. Up to that point, your entire brief flying career has been under the guidance of your instructor. Then, for the first time, its just up to you to fly this bird around the patch. It really does feel like uncharted territory. Even though your CFI is confident in your skills, there is certainly a feeling of risk and uncertainty. The first solo is usually an event that every pilot remembers and enjoys looking back on.
From that point on, as a pilot progresses through his/her career, I think the "adventure" element begins to decline. As a pilot completes the instrument rating, the commercial single and multi-engine ratings, there are little adventurous bits here and there, but I don't think they compare to that first solo in terms of sheer exhilaration.
This is even more pronounced later in a pilot's career. As a pilot learns to fly bigger and faster aircraft, type ratings are earned, and pilots start flying as a crew, not just by themselves. It wasn't too long ago that I had my first flight as a regional airline captain. If you would have asked me, back in my private pilot days, what it would feel like to fly my first flight as a 121 captain, I'd have been using words like, "Awesome, incredible, exciting, kick ass, etc." Now, this isn't to say that this wasn't a milestone flight in my career. It was a very enjoyable and satisfying thing. However, that sheer sense of adventure was notably absent.
Why is this? Well, adventure certainly is a wonderful thing, but it's also closely associated with something called, "Risk." You see, as you fly bigger, faster, and more expensive aircraft, risk is something to be minimized. By the time you make a line flight, even as a new first officer, much of what you are about to do, has already been rehearsed, rehearsed and re-rehearsed. This is in effort to make things as routine as possible for you and the operation. This indeed is a good thing, seeing as how the first time you fly your actual aircraft, you will have paying passengers behind you. They don't want to even think about you having an adventure up there in the front of their plane.
So, this is really just a little note to those just getting started in or about to start their aviation careers. I know you're focused on getting through those ratings as fast as you can, and all you want is to be done with training and flying big fast jet somewhere. But trust me, don't short change that enjoyment of those early ratings, and mostly importantly, that first solo.
Now, it's certainly worth noting up top that it is a good thing that "adventure" isn't a normal component of part 121 air travel. I'm pretty sure the traveling public likes it that way. They want dull, boring, and routine. And, that's fair enough. I understand where they are coming from with that, but it certainly does take away from the romantic pilot image.
I think one of the biggest adventures for a new pilot is that first solo flight. I think it might even be the pinnacle for a pilot's career. It is a tremendous feeling the first time your CFI turns you loose for a few laps around the field. At this point, you likely have very little in the way of hours in your logbook, and much of what you're about to do, is very new. The first solo is an adventure. The first time you part ways with the tarmac, and its just you and the plane. It's your first real "gut-check" in flying. There's no one else to make any inputs on the controls. No one else to take up any space inside the cabin. Up to that point, your entire brief flying career has been under the guidance of your instructor. Then, for the first time, its just up to you to fly this bird around the patch. It really does feel like uncharted territory. Even though your CFI is confident in your skills, there is certainly a feeling of risk and uncertainty. The first solo is usually an event that every pilot remembers and enjoys looking back on.
From that point on, as a pilot progresses through his/her career, I think the "adventure" element begins to decline. As a pilot completes the instrument rating, the commercial single and multi-engine ratings, there are little adventurous bits here and there, but I don't think they compare to that first solo in terms of sheer exhilaration.
This is even more pronounced later in a pilot's career. As a pilot learns to fly bigger and faster aircraft, type ratings are earned, and pilots start flying as a crew, not just by themselves. It wasn't too long ago that I had my first flight as a regional airline captain. If you would have asked me, back in my private pilot days, what it would feel like to fly my first flight as a 121 captain, I'd have been using words like, "Awesome, incredible, exciting, kick ass, etc." Now, this isn't to say that this wasn't a milestone flight in my career. It was a very enjoyable and satisfying thing. However, that sheer sense of adventure was notably absent.
Why is this? Well, adventure certainly is a wonderful thing, but it's also closely associated with something called, "Risk." You see, as you fly bigger, faster, and more expensive aircraft, risk is something to be minimized. By the time you make a line flight, even as a new first officer, much of what you are about to do, has already been rehearsed, rehearsed and re-rehearsed. This is in effort to make things as routine as possible for you and the operation. This indeed is a good thing, seeing as how the first time you fly your actual aircraft, you will have paying passengers behind you. They don't want to even think about you having an adventure up there in the front of their plane.
So, this is really just a little note to those just getting started in or about to start their aviation careers. I know you're focused on getting through those ratings as fast as you can, and all you want is to be done with training and flying big fast jet somewhere. But trust me, don't short change that enjoyment of those early ratings, and mostly importantly, that first solo.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Small gifts
My last trip had a bit of a stressful beginning if I'm honest. My commute in wasn't much fun. I also had to head in to base a day early due to the early start time. Once I got to my hotel that first night, it was time to have some of the food that I packed along for the trip. It was at that time I found that the ice pack I used to keep some of my food cool decided to leak. So, some unnamed chemical goo was all over my food and other things in my flight case as well. The air conditioning unit in my room was quite noisy to say the least. The mattress was about as soft as the floor as well. *sigh* Nothing was catastrophic, but a lot of little annoying things seemed to be popping up.
In the morning, I was up early since I didn't sleep all that well, so I cut short the uncomfortableness, and went down for breakfast. I had a little bit to eat and some coffee. I noticed a family in the lobby waiting to go to the airport, perhaps on vacation. The youngest of their children was a very cute little girl, around 5 or 6, I would guess. When the van pulled up in front of the hotel and we all started making our way to the front, this cute little girl walked right up to me and handed me this little item pictured above. I don't know what its made of, but it appears to be little plastic fit-together pieces of some kind, in the shape of a Space Shuttle Orbiter. Needless to say, I really didn't expect it at all. I was fairly speechless to say the least. However, I had to say something. So, I managed to utter, "Is this for me?" She simply nodded yes and then walked away back to her family. I said a thank you and looked up at the family, with somewhat of a, "Is this for real? Is this something she isn't supposed to give away?" I was really taken by surprise. Her Mom said with a smile on her face, "She's been looking for a pilot to give it to." I replied, "I guess I was in the right place!"
Looking back, there was a lot more I could have done or at least said. "So, whats your name?" "When did you make this?" "Do you like the Space Shuttle?" I should have offered up a little more conversation with the little girl, but to be honest, I was just very much in shock. To me, it was a rough start to a trip. Just another night in a so-so hotel before heading in to work. I'm used to dealing with poor treatment, crappy opinions of me and my work by stuck up mainline pilots, crap pay, crap hours, upset pax, leaking ice packs. Then all of a sudden, it just didn't seem so bad. Here was a little someone that seemed to look up to me. It was a very small little thing, but it really meant an awful lot to me.
I think the plan will be to put a string through this little Orbiter, and make it an Xmas tree ornament from here forward. So, little girl, I didn't catch your name, but I will certainly remember you. Thank you!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Busy BOS
Pretty cool little video showing about an hour of traffic at Boston Logan, compressed into under 3 mins.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Airport Exercise
Do you loathe those long hours spent waiting in airports? Here's something for you to try!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wow, that was fast (part 2)
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/28/opinion/l28pilots.html
I guess the new ALPA President was also a little irked by the FAA response to take care of the controllers on this "new" rest issue.
I guess the new ALPA President was also a little irked by the FAA response to take care of the controllers on this "new" rest issue.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wow, that was fast
http://nycaviation.com/2011/04/faa-to-impose-new-air-traffic-controller-scheduling-rules/
Just how many people have had to die over the years? Just how many NTSB reports have we read which cite, "crew fatigue" as a contributing factor? How long has it taken for the FAA to get their asses in gear about updating scheduling rules for flight crews? Oh yeah, and we're STILL not working under those new rules either.
Now, a few douche controllers take a nap, no accidents happen, no one is hurt or killed. But HOLY SHIT! We better change these work rules right away so this doesn't happen again!
Are you f*cking kidding me? I guess we know who are the favorite children in the eyes of the FAA...
-PS
Just how many people have had to die over the years? Just how many NTSB reports have we read which cite, "crew fatigue" as a contributing factor? How long has it taken for the FAA to get their asses in gear about updating scheduling rules for flight crews? Oh yeah, and we're STILL not working under those new rules either.
Now, a few douche controllers take a nap, no accidents happen, no one is hurt or killed. But HOLY SHIT! We better change these work rules right away so this doesn't happen again!
Are you f*cking kidding me? I guess we know who are the favorite children in the eyes of the FAA...
-PS
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Middle Seat Danger
Now, I'll be the first to say, I hate the middle seat. I just do. Especially if I have two larger people on either side of me. I really just feel trapped. Can't lean left. Can't lean right. Can't reach for anything without bumping into one or two people. Can't take a whiz without bothering the person in the aisle seat to get up. Can't really even move or shift much at all.
With that in mind, I was on a commute flight home earlier today. I was happy to make the flight, don't get me wrong. Just barely ran over to the gate in time. I'm pretty sure I was the last one on. So, there I sat. Slightly sweaty and stuck shoulder to shoulder between two older ladies. Why is that part important? Because old ladies are always cold. So, they wear big jackets and sweaters. These two were no exception. Now, I'm not blaming them for being cold. That's just the way old ladies are. But it was at odds with me. I was stuck between two well insulated people, in uniform, with tie, and my air vent was less than effective. Let's just say it was like having a mouse fart on you through a straw. Needless to say, this wasn't going to be a comfortable flight for me.
There wasn't anything I could do about it. And, since I realistically shouldn't have made that flight, it was nice to be heading home a couple hours earlier. So, I was willing to put up with a crappy seat for a little while. Lo and behold, we had a bit of tailwind and even got in about 10 mins early. Not too bad!
However, I thought that once I was off that plane, the curse of the middle seat was behind me. Well, it was, in a matter of speaking. You see, I got home, had dinner, and went right to bed. I was pretty tired. I was nearly asleep when I caught a whiff of something nasty. I hadn't been farting, so it was a bit curious of a smell. A damp funky stank. Something musty, but with a little more kick than usual. I tried to roll around and ignore it. I think the motion of the covers just made it worse. I kept trying to just not pay it any attention, but the smell wouldn't have it. It persisted. It taunted. It was indeed, a brutal case of Middle Seat Crotch.
You see, when I was running to make that flight, I was pretty warm. The plane was warm when I got on, and the air vent wasn't helping either. I was in uniform, which isn't the most comfortable, and I was stuck in a seat between two others where I couldn't really move. My crotch was in lockdown. All it could do was be warm and start to fester. I didn't even know it was happening since I was just happy to be on the flight. However, the level of stank that was achieved actually prevented me from getting sleep. I finally caved in, got out of bed, and took a shower. There was no other way.
Beware the dangers of Middle Seat Crotch. And don't think it can't happen to you!
With that in mind, I was on a commute flight home earlier today. I was happy to make the flight, don't get me wrong. Just barely ran over to the gate in time. I'm pretty sure I was the last one on. So, there I sat. Slightly sweaty and stuck shoulder to shoulder between two older ladies. Why is that part important? Because old ladies are always cold. So, they wear big jackets and sweaters. These two were no exception. Now, I'm not blaming them for being cold. That's just the way old ladies are. But it was at odds with me. I was stuck between two well insulated people, in uniform, with tie, and my air vent was less than effective. Let's just say it was like having a mouse fart on you through a straw. Needless to say, this wasn't going to be a comfortable flight for me.
There wasn't anything I could do about it. And, since I realistically shouldn't have made that flight, it was nice to be heading home a couple hours earlier. So, I was willing to put up with a crappy seat for a little while. Lo and behold, we had a bit of tailwind and even got in about 10 mins early. Not too bad!
However, I thought that once I was off that plane, the curse of the middle seat was behind me. Well, it was, in a matter of speaking. You see, I got home, had dinner, and went right to bed. I was pretty tired. I was nearly asleep when I caught a whiff of something nasty. I hadn't been farting, so it was a bit curious of a smell. A damp funky stank. Something musty, but with a little more kick than usual. I tried to roll around and ignore it. I think the motion of the covers just made it worse. I kept trying to just not pay it any attention, but the smell wouldn't have it. It persisted. It taunted. It was indeed, a brutal case of Middle Seat Crotch.
You see, when I was running to make that flight, I was pretty warm. The plane was warm when I got on, and the air vent wasn't helping either. I was in uniform, which isn't the most comfortable, and I was stuck in a seat between two others where I couldn't really move. My crotch was in lockdown. All it could do was be warm and start to fester. I didn't even know it was happening since I was just happy to be on the flight. However, the level of stank that was achieved actually prevented me from getting sleep. I finally caved in, got out of bed, and took a shower. There was no other way.
Beware the dangers of Middle Seat Crotch. And don't think it can't happen to you!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
It's the little things
A nice tasty Reese's peanut butter cup awaited me in the flightdeck as I climbed in this morning. It was as if someone was thinking of me. I don't know how you are, but I certainly appreciated it. Someone, in this job, was doing something nice for someone else. A tried and true rarity in this industry. All I can say is, "Thank you!" Then again, you may also be pissed because you were just in a hurry to get to your overnight and left your Reese's there by accident. Either way, I'm still grateful. Shortly after landing at our first destination, I noticed a flight of four F-16s passing by, low level. The formation was obvious. Especially when one of them pulled hard up away from the rest. The unmistakable, Missing Man Formation. To me, as I sat there in the flight deck looking through the windscreen while passengers were getting on, that formation meant only one thing. A military burial. Seeing things like that make to take a step back and just re-evaluate your day.
Ironically, not long at all after that flyby, an MD-88 pulled up and parked next to us. Two soldiers, in full dress, were off the plane first, escorted down the ramp. Again, there's only one thing that would mean. A deceased US soldier was aboard. I watched silently as the casket was brought out of the aft cargo compartment, and loaded into the waiting hearse. Again, seeing things like that really make you take a step back.
Now, while I don't believe the flyby was for the same individual whom I witnessed taking their last flight, (could have been) both events still really got my attention. As much as I complain about my job, workload, lack of sleep, lack of pay, lack of any respect from the company, etc, I am still alive and healthy as my job search continues in an effort to put the regionals in my rear view mirror. I have one good prospect right now. I'm just waiting to hear back. All I can do now, is just sit here, remember and appreciate the sacrifices of others, and enjoy my Reese's.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Howdy
Hey Folks. Yup, I'm still here. Haven't given up yet. Looks like there is finally some movement in this industry. I'm still working contacts/angles in other jobs, but nothing has really changed yet. It looks like the majors are finally starting to hire a bit. Looks like the 5 year stagnation of the "age 65 rule" is finally coming to an end, not to mention it looks the economy is finally on it's way as well. I might just get that change I'm so desperate for before too long after all...
I've had a fair bit of fun keeping track off passenger comments on my twitter site. My dear apologies for anyone that might have been aboard my flight with that landing in Boise, ID. Couldn't tell you what went wrong on that one. BOOM! I'm pretty sure they needed to close the runway for repairs after my landing. Ironically, my very next landing, under far more challenging conditions was a complete greaser... oh well. Can't win em all.
anyways, if there are any of you still around out there hoping for more posts here, hang tight. More on the way. Still in that "I need a break mode..."
I've had a fair bit of fun keeping track off passenger comments on my twitter site. My dear apologies for anyone that might have been aboard my flight with that landing in Boise, ID. Couldn't tell you what went wrong on that one. BOOM! I'm pretty sure they needed to close the runway for repairs after my landing. Ironically, my very next landing, under far more challenging conditions was a complete greaser... oh well. Can't win em all.
anyways, if there are any of you still around out there hoping for more posts here, hang tight. More on the way. Still in that "I need a break mode..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)