Federal Flight Attendant Officers.
Think about it. It might just make people think twice about not turning off their damn cell phone before pushback.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The Weather Channel
I'm one of those who watch TWC when I'm getting ready in the morning on a trip. No, it's not certified aviation weather, but it's quick, simple and you can get a decent idea of what awaits you for the day all in the time you spend getting dressed in the morning. Perfect for when you're constantly waking up in different cities across the country.
Now, I'm not the biggest Stephanie Abrams fan, I'll admit. I don't "hate" her or anything like that, but sometimes, well... I watch TWC with the mute button on. She's got a LOT of energy, no doubt. But sometimes, the things that come out of her mouth... Wow. "The overnight lows will be around 45 degrees tonight with the slight chance of rain in the early morning hours. Hey Al! Look at this cloud right here! It reminds me of a dump I took last week! Yeah, with that taper on the end! That one really burned too! Oy Vey! Now, let's look at today's weathermaker..."
I'm not saying she's not qualified to do her job. She indeed is. However, it's those little instances, with little or no notice, where she starts spewing out random shit that drives me nuts. This morning, she was talking about tornadoes and showing a map of all the funnel cloud sightings from the previous day. Then I hear, "You know, thunderstorms are like big families. You have your really rockin' storms that make tornadoes, and then some other ones over here that are quiet and don't do much... which kind of storm are you?" WHAT IN THE HELL???? I am watching Reading Rainbow or something???
Ms. Abrams does have a lot of energy and she's not at all unattractive. Some people might think those are the reasons she has her job on a morning TV show. She has an education and background in meteorology as well, so it seems like that explains it.
But, I just felt that might not count for all of the appeal. Then... it hit me. She kinda looks like pornstar, Tiffany Minx! Yes! Maybe that's the final seal of approval. She's smart, energetic, pretty, and no matter what comes spewing out of her mouth, guys can watch TWC and envision things spewing in her mouth. Yeah, I can't believe I wrote that either...
Well, glad I finally got that one figured out. Time to get to the airport...
Now, I'm not the biggest Stephanie Abrams fan, I'll admit. I don't "hate" her or anything like that, but sometimes, well... I watch TWC with the mute button on. She's got a LOT of energy, no doubt. But sometimes, the things that come out of her mouth... Wow. "The overnight lows will be around 45 degrees tonight with the slight chance of rain in the early morning hours. Hey Al! Look at this cloud right here! It reminds me of a dump I took last week! Yeah, with that taper on the end! That one really burned too! Oy Vey! Now, let's look at today's weathermaker..."
I'm not saying she's not qualified to do her job. She indeed is. However, it's those little instances, with little or no notice, where she starts spewing out random shit that drives me nuts. This morning, she was talking about tornadoes and showing a map of all the funnel cloud sightings from the previous day. Then I hear, "You know, thunderstorms are like big families. You have your really rockin' storms that make tornadoes, and then some other ones over here that are quiet and don't do much... which kind of storm are you?" WHAT IN THE HELL???? I am watching Reading Rainbow or something???
Ms. Abrams does have a lot of energy and she's not at all unattractive. Some people might think those are the reasons she has her job on a morning TV show. She has an education and background in meteorology as well, so it seems like that explains it.
But, I just felt that might not count for all of the appeal. Then... it hit me. She kinda looks like pornstar, Tiffany Minx! Yes! Maybe that's the final seal of approval. She's smart, energetic, pretty, and no matter what comes spewing out of her mouth, guys can watch TWC and envision things spewing in her mouth. Yeah, I can't believe I wrote that either...
Well, glad I finally got that one figured out. Time to get to the airport...
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Mesa's future?
Anyone recall this post about Mesa from last November? To me, this didn't come as much of a shock, but I did notice it just yesterday.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/sns-ap-us-mesa-air-group-delta,0,3929117.story
I know Mesa has flying with United and USAir, but I don't know if it's enough to keep them afloat. I don't want to see it go, but I'm thinking that's what will happen before too long.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/sns-ap-us-mesa-air-group-delta,0,3929117.story
I know Mesa has flying with United and USAir, but I don't know if it's enough to keep them afloat. I don't want to see it go, but I'm thinking that's what will happen before too long.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Looking back...
I have to say, something dawned on me during a recent trip to a famous aviation museum. As I was admiring aircraft from eras gone by, it hit me. Let me throw some stats your way and see if you catch it.
DC2 - 14pax - 2 engines - 62ft long
DC3 - 32pax - 2 engines - 64ft long
307 - 33 pax - 4 engines - 74ft long
ERJ145 - 37pax - 2 engines - 93 ft long
CRJ200 - 50pax - 2 engines - 87 ft long
CRJ700 - 70pax - 2 engines - 106ft
ERJ175 - 76pax - 2 engines - 103ft
These old planes are quite large. Some of them 4 engined. Yet, they all carried about as much as regional jets do these days. That tells me two things...
Airlines are carrying more people while burning less fuel to do it. It also tells you passenger accommodations are getting smaller and smaller. Honestly, this isn't a shocker since the days that Juan Tripp announced that Pan Am would take a different direction than all other major carriers. Instead of flying the "well to do" at high prices, he offered to fly common folk for what they could afford to pay. This changed the very face of airline travel. However, I think even Juan Tripp wouldn't have thought that at least 25% of airline passengers would fly in sweatpants and flip flops.
It was quite a revelation to stand in front of the iconic 4 engined Boeing 307 and see that it carried fewer passengers than the little CRJ200. Then, I took a look at another piece of info comparing the cabin widths of these two aircraft.
CRJ200 - 8ft 4in
Boeing 307 - 12ft
Makes me wonder what would be said if passengers who where flying the 307 were to step into the future and see a CRJ200 pull up to there gate. Likely, they would be overcome with joy with such a sleek little futuristic jet. Then, they would step inside and look at the seating space. I'm thinking they might step back off at that point.
DC2 - 14pax - 2 engines - 62ft long
DC3 - 32pax - 2 engines - 64ft long
307 - 33 pax - 4 engines - 74ft long
ERJ145 - 37pax - 2 engines - 93 ft long
CRJ200 - 50pax - 2 engines - 87 ft long
CRJ700 - 70pax - 2 engines - 106ft
ERJ175 - 76pax - 2 engines - 103ft
These old planes are quite large. Some of them 4 engined. Yet, they all carried about as much as regional jets do these days. That tells me two things...
Airlines are carrying more people while burning less fuel to do it. It also tells you passenger accommodations are getting smaller and smaller. Honestly, this isn't a shocker since the days that Juan Tripp announced that Pan Am would take a different direction than all other major carriers. Instead of flying the "well to do" at high prices, he offered to fly common folk for what they could afford to pay. This changed the very face of airline travel. However, I think even Juan Tripp wouldn't have thought that at least 25% of airline passengers would fly in sweatpants and flip flops.
It was quite a revelation to stand in front of the iconic 4 engined Boeing 307 and see that it carried fewer passengers than the little CRJ200. Then, I took a look at another piece of info comparing the cabin widths of these two aircraft.
CRJ200 - 8ft 4in
Boeing 307 - 12ft
Makes me wonder what would be said if passengers who where flying the 307 were to step into the future and see a CRJ200 pull up to there gate. Likely, they would be overcome with joy with such a sleek little futuristic jet. Then, they would step inside and look at the seating space. I'm thinking they might step back off at that point.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
DB Alert! Seat 7B!
Yes, you have heard me say it before. One of the wonderful sides of dealing with the general public is having the "honor" of being in the presence of some of the greatest douchebags (DBs) the human race has to offer. Now don't get me wrong, I don't expect everyone to be highly educated and well versed in all things. I know that's just not possible. Not even close. I'm a perfect example! There are COUNTLESS things I don't know crap about. The difference between myself and a DB? I am aware there are things I don't know. And. I don't go around running my pie-hole when I clearly haven't a damn clue what I'm talking about. THAT's my problem with DBs.
On a recent deadhead flight, I had the vomitous-pleasure of crossing paths with this particular DB, who was seated behind me. He was the type that had something to say about EVERYTHING. Of course, he's got one of those booming voices so everyone gets to hear his crap. His wife, seated in 7A, must drink a lot. I just don't see any other way it could work.
My first clue to his Delta-Bravo-ness came right when he sat down. Or should I say, FLOPPED down. "Jeeez!!! you don't sit in this plane!! You put it on!" While resisting the urge to turn around and say, "You get what you pay for, ass clown!" I decided instead to just install my ear plugs. Didn't block him out totally, but it certainly took the edge off. I still got to listen to all his "clever" comments about each step of the predeparture briefing from the flight attendants. I put clever in quotes since they weren't actually clever, but I'm certain they were clever to him in his own tiny, self-centered, cranky-ass brain.
Ironically, I had some really good gas that morning and I held nothing back since I had such a great DB to share with!
As him and his wife were reading the paper in cruise and commenting at full volume about every single story, the following caught my ear: "Oh hell, NASA is gonna hire Russia to do their stuff now that the Space Shuttle is being retired. Greaat..."
I really did have half a mind to turn around and present some of the following questions to this DB:
1.) Who was the first country to orbit a satellite?
2.) Who was the first country to put a man in space?
3.) Who was the first country to orbit a man in space?
4.) Who were the first to rendezvous two spacecraft from different countries?
5.) What country operates the largest space launch complex?
5.) Do you think the Space Shuttle has been the ONLY vehicle used to take astronauts and supplies to and from the ISS?
Then I remembered... this is DB we're dealing with here. His opinions are rock solid and infallible. Neither logic, common sense nor even fact can phase him.
During the landing roll out, I heard him say "Look! KC-135s. I think those are tankers." I had to glance outside. Yup, as I thought. C-130s. I took a few deep breaths. Then, as we were stopped short of the gate, waiting to get parked, I get to hear, "I'm sure glad we got here 20 mins early so we can sit out here on the tarmac." More deep breaths.
Then, just when I thought he couldn't be any more ridiculous, he points out the window and says, "Look at how slow that one is coming in.. that's a 747... it's gotta be." Call it morbid curiosity, but I just had to glance out. So, I did. And what did I see? A319.
I shake my head ruefully...
As a service to those who don't know the differences off-hand between these aircraft, but are smart enough to not act like you do, here is what they actually look like.
KC-135 Stratotanker and C-130 Hercules
Boeing 747 and Airbus A319
On a recent deadhead flight, I had the vomitous-pleasure of crossing paths with this particular DB, who was seated behind me. He was the type that had something to say about EVERYTHING. Of course, he's got one of those booming voices so everyone gets to hear his crap. His wife, seated in 7A, must drink a lot. I just don't see any other way it could work.
My first clue to his Delta-Bravo-ness came right when he sat down. Or should I say, FLOPPED down. "Jeeez!!! you don't sit in this plane!! You put it on!" While resisting the urge to turn around and say, "You get what you pay for, ass clown!" I decided instead to just install my ear plugs. Didn't block him out totally, but it certainly took the edge off. I still got to listen to all his "clever" comments about each step of the predeparture briefing from the flight attendants. I put clever in quotes since they weren't actually clever, but I'm certain they were clever to him in his own tiny, self-centered, cranky-ass brain.
Ironically, I had some really good gas that morning and I held nothing back since I had such a great DB to share with!
As him and his wife were reading the paper in cruise and commenting at full volume about every single story, the following caught my ear: "Oh hell, NASA is gonna hire Russia to do their stuff now that the Space Shuttle is being retired. Greaat..."
I really did have half a mind to turn around and present some of the following questions to this DB:
1.) Who was the first country to orbit a satellite?
2.) Who was the first country to put a man in space?
3.) Who was the first country to orbit a man in space?
4.) Who were the first to rendezvous two spacecraft from different countries?
5.) What country operates the largest space launch complex?
5.) Do you think the Space Shuttle has been the ONLY vehicle used to take astronauts and supplies to and from the ISS?
Then I remembered... this is DB we're dealing with here. His opinions are rock solid and infallible. Neither logic, common sense nor even fact can phase him.
During the landing roll out, I heard him say "Look! KC-135s. I think those are tankers." I had to glance outside. Yup, as I thought. C-130s. I took a few deep breaths. Then, as we were stopped short of the gate, waiting to get parked, I get to hear, "I'm sure glad we got here 20 mins early so we can sit out here on the tarmac." More deep breaths.
Then, just when I thought he couldn't be any more ridiculous, he points out the window and says, "Look at how slow that one is coming in.. that's a 747... it's gotta be." Call it morbid curiosity, but I just had to glance out. So, I did. And what did I see? A319.
I shake my head ruefully...
As a service to those who don't know the differences off-hand between these aircraft, but are smart enough to not act like you do, here is what they actually look like.
KC-135 Stratotanker and C-130 Hercules
Boeing 747 and Airbus A319
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
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